Ben Braeden

"Ben, he's not asking for you to do anything you're not comfortable with."

"Yeah, I get that." He looked at the picture in his hand that Dean had left. His father - all these years later and suddenly Dean was back and his mother was telling him that she knew - wanted to see him. And he had a little cousin. "Just... not something I was expecting."

"Dean will be fine with whatever you choose. But I'd really like you to think about at least talking to him. I'm sure you've got questions."

"I do." He rubbed the back of his neck. "What about you, Mom? You want him around again?"

Lisa smiled just a bit. "It was nice seeing him again, Ben. I'd like to see more of him. But if you're not comfortable..."

"Mom, I'm not eight anymore. You don't need to worry about my feelings when you're seeing a guy." He smirked up at his mother. "I just don't want to hear about what you two are doing when I'm not here."

"Like I'd tell you that anyway." Lisa smoothed the first red spike of her son's hair so she could kiss his forehead. "Do me a favor, though?"

"What's that?"

"If you decide to take a road trip out to Iowa like I know you're planning, please at least tone down the look so the press doesn't follow you."

Ben smirked a bit and shook his head. "Yes, Mom."

***

The flight from LA to Des Moines wasn't bad, and he rented a car the next morning to drive the rest of the way to the house where Dean had told his mother that he lived. It probably wasn't the smartest plan he had, but he did want a chance to look at this family before he went to talk to them.

He watched his cousin and his uncle go off to school, and saw that his father's car stayed parked in the driveway. Figuring that it meant Dean wasn't going off to any job, Ben pulled the car up next to it in the driveway and made his way to the front door, knocking before he looked at his reflection in the window.

He actually looked normal for once, and sober too. It was the best he could manage, so he hoped it would be noticed he was trying to act the part. If only for his mom's sake.

Left a good job in the city,
Working for The Man every night and day,
And I never lost one minute of sleeping,
Worrying 'bout the way things might have been.
Proud Mary - Credence Clearwater Revival

The flashbulbs and the bright lights were commonplace in the life of Boaz Ramone. He wore his sunglasses almost all the time to deaden the little white light flashes they caused in his vision for minutes after each picture, and only took them off when it got too dark to see inside.

It was another awards show, another after party, and a pretty blonde on his arm as they walked up the red carpet that Boaz didn't even know her name, but sure as hell would know hear her screaming his when the night was over. It was how the game was played, and he loved every moment of it.

But when he was sober and in the shower in the mornings, he remembered still how he had gotten there. He could still remember the awkward teenager who got lucky and made a band with a few friends in high school that led him to trying out for the singing reality show on a dare. The weeks he spent out in Hollywood for the show whizzed by as a series of training sessions, recordings and eventually his hair was cut and his clothes were picked out for him and he was rocking out to the music he grew up loving all his life. Somehow he even won the damn thing, and there was a tour and cd's and parties and somewhere along the way little Ben Braeden was gone and all that was left was the rock star.

The life was amazing - more than he ever imagined. The alcohol and drugs came freely, which he abused the first and avoided the second most of the time. He hung out with all the popular stars around his age and didn't have to pay for a single thing as his record label provided it all.

And the girls? They were literally climbing through his windows just to have a night with the great and sexy Boaz Ramone. If Ben knew who his father was, he was pretty sure the man would be damn proud of that.

It was a good life and Ben was smart enough still to know it wasn't always going to last. He was the flavor of the week right now, but soon he was going to fade into a has-been obscurity and he was going to be prepared to let himself be comfortable when it happened. Right now it was all about living life to the fullest, making his mama proud, and of course making a damn good acceptance speech tonight when he won another award for his debut CD after he gave an epic performance all the morning shows would be talking about tomorrow.

Boaz Ramone was the hottest thing in town, and he was going to make sure they remembered why.